A Kiss Goodbye

I never thought it would end this way. I woke up at 4 am with the grace to write the following letter out.

I am dedicating this post to birth mothers, who loved their children so much they chose to place them with families that could care for them better than they could. Who love so deeply they are willing to hurt the rest of their lives so that their children don't. I honor you women.

Goodbye, my sweet boy. I love you this much.



Dear Amani Baby Cottage,

Hello. It is with great sorrow that I write this letter to you concerning my family taking up one of your orphans Francis Amani. Almost three years ago it was with great joy that I spoke with Danyne, the director of the home, about our families desire to take up a child into our home. A boy named Francis Amani was chosen for us and though he was miles away we began the journey and process to bring him home. Praying daily for our new “son” and with all hopes of one day being a family. We spent hours going through the process for our country fingerprints, homestudy, etc. We raised funds to help offset the cost as overseas adoptions are pricey. So many of our friends and family supported us and gave towards our new “son”. We were thrilled when we got the letter in January of 2006 from the US government saying we were approved to bring an orphan home. This was great news and 2 months later in March of 2006 I went to court in Uganda. With 4 days notice I left my husband and 4 children and began a journey to Uganda to see the judge about this child who I had never met but so desperately wanted to take as my son. I loved him. I was thrilled. It seemed so wonderful to finally be going, it was so close. Just go to court get legal guardianship and then to the embassy to get visas and soon we would be home. Our family would be complete. When I arrived in Entebbe Francis Amani was there to greet me. We met and it was wonderful! Love at first sight he was more wonderful than I had dreamed. Everything I wanted was coming true. It truly was a miracle. Court came the next day and what happened after that I was not prepared for. My trip was set for 2 weeks as I was told that would be the appropriate amount of time to give in these situations. As you know I waited 3 weeks for a ruling and when it came it was a complete shock. The judge had said no to us being Francis Amanis guardians. I had to leave Uganda alone. I came home alone. My children who had waited for a new brother greeted me at the airport and I was alone. It was a shock.

Immediately we began the appeals process. Again raising funds as we had used up thousands of dollars already on my first trip and did not expect the outcome. It was in July that appeals court was set. Once again with very little notice I left my family and boarded a plane to Uganda. Not knowing what to expect and afraid that the same thing might happen again, I went. I loved him and wanted to take him up as my son. He would love America and would have so much more than he did in the orphanage. Amani takes wonderful care of the children at Amani but nothing can replace the love a child receives from a father, mother, and siblings. I dreamt of how he would act when he saw me. Would he understand. I had to leave him after I had promised to take him. It was so hard on him. Would he be okay, would he be mad at me? When I arrived in Entebbe he again was there to greet me. It was like I had never left. He was not mad and quickly was in my arms again. We went to court and were hopeful that they would overturn the first ruling. I waited again. This time I waited 5 weeks. As you may remember It was devastating to me to make the decision to go home again without him. But my family was suffering without me and I had to leave. I came home again. Alone.

We waited for what seemed like forever and finally in January of 2007 the appeals court gave their ruling. Danyne called with the wonderful news that they ruled in our favor! We were now Francis Amanis guardians! We were thrilled to hear the news! Finally our family would be complete. Days later you told us that the ruling was in our favor but had a stipulation of finalizing the adoption in Uganda. We hoped the courts would change this sentence because our US government would not accept us finalizing in Uganda and must have all adoptions finalized in the US. We spoke with the US and asked for special permission and explained our situation but no exceptions could be made. Devastation is not even close to explaining the pain we felt. Days went by and our family prayed for a solution. I could not sleep. I could not eat. It was more than I could bare. Our dreams seemed to be crashing before our eyes.

We decided to appeal to the court of appeals and ask for the ruling to be changed. Just that one line stating we must finalize in three years in Uganda. In July we were informed that it could not be done. That we must go to the Supreme court. It is with sadness that I write we are not able to go any further. Not because we do not desire to take up the child. But we can not afford another trip to Uganda to go to supreme court. We have spent over $10,000 and I have spent 2 and a half months abroad and away from my family. In the time I have been home I have had a new baby. We also have taken in a foster child. So now we have 6 children ages 16,8,6,4,2 and 6 months. My husband must work to support our family and his work does not allow for him to be away. We do not have family to stay with the children. I can not come to Uganda again.

Because we care for Francis Amani we want to give him every chance at finding a family. We wish it could be us. But understand that unless we go to Supreme court it can not be. Since Supreme court is not something we can do we wish to be revoked as his guardians. So that another family can take him up. Francis is almost 4 and we understand soon he will not be able to be taken up by anyone as he will be sent to Watota homes when he turns 5. He truly is a wonderful child and deserves a family. We must set him free so that another family can take him up as he is getting older and it is difficult to place older children. We pray Gods best on him. We love him and hopefully someday he can see that we did everything we could do to bring him home. We pray that a family comes.

Thank you for all your work for the children.

God bless.

Adam and Michelle Palmer.